Not a fan of fanfare

Epiphany # 2: I'm not a fan of attention. I hate being made a fuss over. I deplore the thought of too many eyes on me at one time. The older I become, the more private I grow. Well, 'private' is an understatement, I'm down right elusive. I have vivid (albeit unpleasant) memories of my days as a gifted and talented student (yes, not too long ago, in a galaxy far, far away, there existed children who were labeled 'gifted & talented'). Students such as myself were placed in accelerated courses and while teachers sang our praises, we were often taunted and mocked by other children.

I also remember entering Kindergarten reading on a second grade level. I saw this as not so much a big deal, but once my teacher (Mrs. McGrogan, gosh I'll never forget her) realized this, I remember her calling a bunch of other teachers into the room, giving me a bunch of crap to read, and the lot of them 'ooohing' and 'ahhhing' over my academic prowess. I was not proud. I did not feel validated. I was not overcome with a sense of accomplishment. I resented each and every one of them. Reading was my safe haven. It was my round trip ticket to paradise and I traveled there alone. These adults were stowaways. How dare they invade my world!

Both my childhood and adulthood were (and sometimes still are), filled with similar scenarios. Anything that I may accomplish is done merely for my own satisfaction. I've done things that give me a sense of purpose and never to gain an audience. I am far from shy. I challenge you to find a single being who could call me introverted with a straight face. I am not afraid to face the world each day, but I do my best work while in the presence of my own circle of friends and family.

I am witty, charismatic and won't hesitate to provide the gift of laughter when it is most needed. But again, only to a small audience. I've had so many friends tell me that I should try my hand at stand up comedy. My response: "No, that isn't for me". Why? Well, that would involve inviting too many sets of strange eyes, attached to strange faces, into my world.

I have never had aspirations to be rich and famous..no, scratch that..I wouldn't mind being rich, it's the famous part that gives me pause. If ever I fell ass backward into a windfall, a portion of it would be used to purchase a home in the middle of nowhere. I would spend whatever time I have left in this Universe in that home, still doing randomly awesome things, but out of anyone's watchful and strange eyes. Obscurity is, at times an underrated concept.

Until next time, guys.